I asked my self a question today. Now I think that I was just a consolation prize. After giving it a lot of thought everything that was said I have come to the conclusion that she never wanted it to work out between us. I tried but it never mattered that I did cause her mind was made up. Instead I think that she started to feel sorry for me. Due to the things that I said after she told me about her infatuations. I thought that I was being romantic and sweet but instead I came off as desperate and a loser. I might as well have had a Big letter L on my forehead. It's interesting that after she's gone is when I realize all of these things. Deep down it really hurts inside. I am more shattered than the first time. Cause now I have learned who I am. Where does one go from here? Is it back to step one or do I go into seclusion? Lonerdom is the kingdom that I have come to rule expertly. I know that I'm not the only one and there are many others. Do I want to be engrossed in misery? No. This is how I feel.... at the moment.
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